Odd Characters

A couple of nights ago I was sitting outside at night star gazing enjoying the sounds. I love listening to the traffic and other night sounds. It helps me calm down and ease my mind. 

I was enjoying the atmosphere when this gentleman pulls up beside me and yells out a lude comment outside his window. 

I look up and I say “What?” And he repeats it’s. I look around to see who he’s talking to and he yells “hey” and he says it again. I look at him and I yell back at him  “I live here and if you don’t leave me alone I’m going to call the cops.” He speeds off as I watch him cut through the parking lot of a restaurant near my house.I could here him laughing. I don’t know whether he was laughing at me or at the thrill of being able to say something that disgusting in public to someone like me. Either way I wasn’t really scared even after I thought he was going to come back.

After that little episode, do you think it would’ve kept me from coming back outside at night?

By the way,I was scared…just a little. 

Who goes where.

I recently had to go to physical therapy for a shoulder I had hurt when I fell out of my wheelchair. I won’t go into much detail because that’s not the point of this story. As I rolled in to the Physical Therapy Facility  I had to go use the facilities so I checked in and the nice receptionist directed me to the nearest bathroom. As I “walk ” in I immediately go to the handicap stall and was instantly shocked at how small it was. As you can see my wheelchair didn’t even fit so I had to get out of my chair walk into the stall. It looks like the only modification that were made was side hand rails.

I hear people getting outraged about who goes into what restroom. “And why is that man going into that bathroom?”

To be perfectly honest it doesn’t really matter to me who does what in where. As long as I can fit in a restroom stall comfortable to where the only transfer I have to make is from my chair to the toilet and then back to the chair. 

So the next time you start to complain or get outraged over who has the right to go into designated restroom think about how small some handicap stalls are.

No wheelchair For Me

About 2 Thursdays ago. I had to go to work without my wheelchair. It was a very exhausting day.

See, I don’t drive yet because in the town I live in, there are very little practical services for the disabled. There are no driving schools for the physically disabled here. I could go to a bigger city but there would have to be a huge improvement in my finances but that’s another story. 

There’s a shuttle service here in the town I live in that takes the disabled anywhere they want so long as it’s within the city limits. It’s expensive but well worth it because, it’s exclusive to the physically and  mentally disabled and elderly as long as they can prove they have a disability. The shuttles are clean, it has heating/ a.c., the drivers are respectful and polite, it’s  at your door and it’s by appointment only. 

So about 2 weeks ago I ended up going to work without a wheelchair because my shuttle forgot to schedule me in

Story: Lonliness

I’m lonely for friends and not so much for someone to live for…..for people to talk to me. For people to acknowledge my existence and to value my friendship.

To tell me their lives are better because of me….for someone to call me a best friend and actually mean it. For someone to tell me “I love you.” with the heart, soul and mind. I just want a simple conversation with someone who will listen. 

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth being alive and coexisting with other creatures. 

If the research is correct, I only have 2 years left and that’s okay. I don’t really want be here anymore. This is a lonely place to be. Everyone here already has a friend or a best friend. 

Co existing in a chair is not really feasible or jocular anymore. Life has become monotonous in chair and it doesn’t seem to get any better from my point of view.

I once heard this line in a song “Life is too long for me.”  Life is too long and it just seems like it gets longer and longer everyday. I’m stuck in a world that no one wants me in but somehow I have to stay until such time that I may be permitted to leave.

Everyday I pray for it to get better but alas my breath is wasted. I just don’t want to do this anymore. I’m exhausted. 

It is tasking to find people to talk to, share joys, happiness and will actually stop to listen. It’s like trying to find a job that can and will be done in a matter of a few days.

Coexisting in a world where there is no connection is something that is hard to understand or “get” because we as humans need each other to survive.