….I cried for a day.
I cried myself to sleep.
I cried through the night
A day turned into a week
A week turned into a month.
And a month turned into a year.
A year turned into 3 years
And so forth and so forth.
And then one day I just stopped…
looked into the mirror and what I saw was a rung out, wet, old wash cloth.
And on that day I vowed never again will I cry anymore.
I was talking on the phone today with a very dear friend of mine whom I’ve know for over 20 years. We met in college. She’s awesome. She always knows what to say or do to make me feel better. She doesn’t candy coat anything and she isn’t afraid to piss me off. She’s done it a couple of times actually but I can’t stay mad at her.She’s my friend and I love her. She’s the most beautiful person I know.
I was telling her about how bad my year has been. Explaining to her in tears how there were days where I just wanted to end it all and that it was wasteful to have faith in God. I go to mass because as a “good Catholic” that is what is expected. What she said was quite suprising because she’s atheist. I don’t hold that against her, she has that right. She said I still had faith and I shouldn’t give up on it. I was just tired. She’s right. She’s a very wise woman.